Rites of Passage/Rights of Passage

Industrial society has subordinated the interests of the family to the interests of the economy. Once economics served social ends now society serves economic ends. The role of social education and acculturation is accomplished through the media and popular culture. The role of the community in traditional societies was to incorporate the technology for living (culture) in a series of classes or social experiences that were part of the educational system delivered through intensive experiential instruction at significant points in the social and physical development of community members.

Desire and duty
One of the most persistent and pronounced aspects of the human experience is the urge that facilitates procreation. On the one hand there is the spark that creates the flame that we call desire. On the other hand there is the patient tending of the relationship, the gentle stoking of the fires, the consistent feeding of the flames that sustains it that we call duty. Differences in expectation between cultures results from varying arrangements and approaches to acknowledging, addressing and responding to these two important aspects of the human experience. The grand design and purpose of both impulses serve to ensure propagation and continuation of the species. Each society due to unique environmental or emotional conditions, circumstances and needs adopts an approach and expression that best supports it. Knowing the role and responsibility in that dance is conveyed to community members through rites of passage.

Infatuation and obligation

There has been much research that is slowly catching up with the ancient wisdom that guided traditional societies. One area is in the science of the mind. The modern world is a manifestation of European culture. This cultural orientation is profoundly shaped by an experience called "the enlightenment." The basic orientation of this worldview is low context. In cultural terms it translates into individualization of relations (social, economic, etc.). The cultural kernel that was embedded in social relations of Europe prior to the enlightenment survived the protestant reformation. The low context worldview propagated by the enlightenment combined with the per-enlightenment binary cultural focus  allowed for the elevation of values like greed and self-interest to the exclusion or deprecation of values like sharing and collective interest.

The Enlightenment era was ushered in by objections to corruption of the Catholic Church. The desire to command and control, extract and exploit, created conditions where religion was used for secular purposes. While the church extolled the divinity of the head of the church, the Pope, accounts of the person in that role both promoting and indulging behavior and values that were antithetical to the professed religious values of the church. This behavior by church officials were common and rife up and down the church hierarchy. Violation of vows of celibacy and selling of indulgences, among other major and minor moral violation, were so rife within all levels of the church hierarchy that the protest movement against it, whose start is usually attributed to Martin Luther, resulted in the creation of a new religious Christian tradition, the Protestant movement. Those challenges to religious authority extended to secular and scientific authority and an examination of biblical based understanding of the world. However, this moral response did not root out the cultural kernel that made such behavior acceptable and desirable.

When faced with choices like "do I pursue that which I am fascinated with even when it conflicts with my obligation?" our worldview based on our values provides the answer. For low context individualistic cultures like modern (European) cultures, individual needs and satisfaction are held to be the highest value. For high context collectivist cultures like many traditional (non-European) cultures, collective needs and collective agreements are held to be the highest value. That does not mean that in either case the tug of infatuation won't be present. It also doesn't define or limit the range of emotional responses to infatuation. But it does determine and limit the range of behaviors one might engage in as a response to the infatuation.

Carnal/Lust and Caring/Love
The role of rites of passage is designed to lift up the ancient worldview and perspective we see reflected in the writings of Kemet. The role of education is designed to prepare members of society for appropriate and effective behavioral responses and promote the appropriate beliefs that support desired values. Inappropriate behavior is considered a failure of education not a failure of character. While it is not described in this way, popular culture educates a society in what is right and what is wrong. The images and ideas conveyed through media and formal educational processes also promote and provide behavior and values.

The low context thinking that characterizes european culture divides our lived experience in a way where we can only be one thing. We are horny or we are holy. We divide our physical expression of attraction that is mediated through hormones from our emotional expression of caring through compassion and caring. But what is love and how did it get conflated with lust? 

We love our parents, our siblings and our children (for example). But that has nothing to do with sexuality. It is all about sociality. When we say we "love" it speaks to affection not necessarily attraction. The two are not mutually exclusive. But neither are they mutually inclusive. Also, they can be present serially. The sexual attraction that is sometimes referred to as love is a product of the limbic brain system. It is automatic and often considered autonomic. But with training and conditioning that is part of a structured program, such as a rites of passage, and with reinforcement and support from society, our physical reactions can be mediated or provided the meaning that we determine. 

Of course, we may not be able to control our physical reaction but we can interpret its emotional significance and the appropriate response. You get a warm feeling and are appreciative of the sexual energy of a friend or associate. What is the appropriate emotional response to the physical activation? Whether you think "I want to get some of that" or whether you think "someone will be lucky to be with them" depends significantly on our cultural conditioning and what is deemed appropriate. We see this as part of the concept of "taboo" in more traditional cultures. But even in modern european culture and society the practice of sexual activity between immediate family members, i.e., incest, is considered taboo. Active and intentional socialization provides direction for society and guidance for individuals. 

 The role and need for intentional informal socialization that is provided by rites of passage programs
is real and present. It is lacking due to a general commodification of most aspects of capitalist consumer culture. The home is the first school and the care givers are the first teachers. In order to support the vision and values we hold for community and as a community, rites of passage are essential. They provide new entrants with the  "rights" of passage into a new social role. May it be so.

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Valentine's Day -Love, Lust and Enlightenment

It is that time of year when the commecial demand for consumerism captivates and overtakes the spiritual connection that occurs when the vibratory fequency of two beings harmonize.

I have long attempted to differentiate the term "love" from its fraternal and its physical manifestations. We use the same word to describe the sexual experience and the filial experience. During a sermon on 'desire' a new way of articulating the connection and the contradiction occurred to me. The distinction in reflected in the Greek language with the terms "agape" or friendship and "eros" or eroticism.

Love is caring. Desire is wanting. One of the simplest ways to contrast the two experiences is to look at what we mean when we say we "love" a parent, a sibling or a child versus what we mean when we speak of "love" regarding a mate or sexual partner. Caring and wanting are not mutually exclusive but each has a distinct manifestation in its own domain. Caring connects with wanting in terms of memory in the Agape domain. Desire connects with caring in terms of romance in the Eros domain.

Love is light. Desire is heat. Love creates the desire to be responsive to the needs of the other. This means we look for what we can do or how we can interact and relate to them. This seeking is analagous with light. Desire is heat. Desire is often described with the metaphor of fire. This refelects the tendency for desire to consume us emotionally and stimulate us physically resulting in physical heat and emotional heat. Love and desire joined and connected offer both heat and light.

Love is attachment. Desire is attraction. Love results in our connection with another even when apart. This connection is an important component of fidelity. Desire is attraction. Desire results in our moving towards our target and seeking the object of our attraction. It can be fleeting, impermanent and transitory but powerful nonetheless. This duality is often a source of confusion due to the imprecision of our use of terminology related to the concept "love." When men are attracted to women based on desire it does not mean they will feel attached to them but often this is not the case due to their lack of interest or understanding of the person. It mght take me a few more minutes to clearly articulate this analogy.

Love is contentment. Desire is yearning. These two descriptions are in line with the same distinction of the agape and eros domains. Caring, light, attachment all contribute to the contentment of agape love. Wanting, heat, attraction contributes to the yearning of desire. What we must do is to understand that either domain has both its strengths and its weaknesses. We must choos wisely for our own emotionand and spiritual health and that of the one we love.



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