Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Understanding the understood


I engaged in a conversation with an associate who shared an community organization affiliation last week. He stated an opinion with which I did not agree. In informing him (and others since we were on a listserve) of where I disagreed with him and why he was offended and withdrew. This was a disappointment to me.

The art and ability to engage in a discussion of differing opinions while remaining civil is becoming increasingly difficult. It is not just that there is an air of incivility in the air. It is also that the option to withdraw, walk away, don't show us for the meeting, stay at home, drink beer, watch t.v., find new friends, volunteer somewhere else, pop in a DVD, otherwise occupy ourselves is a real and present possibility. We don't have to see the offending individual and 'poof' they are gone from our lives and so too the disagreement. Our world is righted. Our view of self or others is confirmed to be true and accurate. We can find solace in unanimity of opinion and outlook.

The fact that we are not able to exercise our intellect, emotions and outlook in a vigorous debate without injuring one another, either literally or figuratively, is a sure sign of weakness intellectually, emotionally or socially.

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